Live From Fatherhood

Live From Fatherhood

Live From Fatherhood is me using music as a parenting tool. Since 2023, I’ve listened to the album every Father’s Day. It’s become a tradition.

This year it took a little more work. The album was never on DSPs. It had been on a phone I no longer have, and I’d also taken it off my website while redesigning it… then procrastinated the project into oblivion. After digging through one of my many flash drives that desperately needs to be transferred to an HDD, I finally found it.

The back-and-forth with the violinist, the revolving door of singers, low-quality audio, the many musicians who didn’t make it onto the record. Delays, frustrations, and plenty of headaches. All of this was done remotely, spanning several countries. Although messages didn’t always land clearly, I don’t think I would’ve had the energy to deal with this many personalities in person. But looking back, it was worth it.

I started making the album Live From Fatherhood at the end of 2020, during COVID. Back then, I had two kids. By the time I released it on my website for Father’s Day 2023, I had four. You hear all of them throughout the album. They bring humor and help hold everything together. Their voices have changed so much they don’t always know who is who.

Working on Live From Fatherhood left a lot of small moments behind in the music. On “The Younger Me,” I used a recording of them singing “Happy Birthday” to me on my 38th, I think. “Play Outside” was literally recorded outside. For “Picking Roses,” I picked roses from the tree in the front yard and covered my vocal booth with them. “Son of a Song” was the first time I’d ever built a track entirely with live instruments.

Playa Fly, one of my favorite rappers in high school, did the intro to “Instructions.” I still laugh every time I hear my youngest daughter’s adlibs on “Overgrown.” On the other side of the sound, “Neither Do I,” “Relax,” and “Don’t Buy Ya Mama a House” are tied together by piano from Elizabeth Gaylord, who started playing at six and went on to earn a Bachelor of Music in Jazz Piano.

“Relax” is built around female energy from top to bottom, with the drummer, pianist, violinist, and singer all women. On “Only One,” the lead gospel singer of the choir still hasn’t heard my verses. I think she thought I was in a different direction. I thought about sending her the finished song but didn’t, because I wasn’t seeking approval and didn’t have the energy to direct her interpretation.

The Polish producer Fat Seagull made most of the beats on the album. “Parental Advisory” contains a Bach sample. “Clean House” a Chopin. He said his sister told him he should have sold the Chopin beat for more. It was a bit intimidating. I didn’t go the leasing route like I did on my first two albums. I own all the beats, most of them exclusively. Especially the Chopin.

My oldest daughters created the album cover. One of them drew it, the other colored it. They took turns spelling out the title and my name. The colors were our favourites at the time. Blue for their mother. Red for my son and me. Pink, purple, and green for the girls.

My kids may not remember the sessions or the songs the way I do. But they’ll have the album, proof they were there in the room, in the process, in decisions I made. They kept me together when collaborations fell apart. They’re a reason I finished it. And someday, years from now, when they listen and reflect on their younger voices, I hope they hear how much they shaped mine.

Every year Live From Fatherhood means more to me than it did the year before. It stays here. I don’t try to turn it into anything else. Time is doing it for me.

    Live From Fatherhood

    by Ladaryl | Full Album

    1. Parental Advisory
    2. Clean House (Armchair)
    3. Play Outside
    4. Me, Myself and My Expectations
    5. Overgrown
    6. Neither Do I
    7. Relax
    8. Don’t Buy Ya Mama a House
    9. Instructions
    10. Thank You
    11. Picking Roses
    12. Dad Hat
    13. Son of a Song
    14. Cry
    15. Church’s Chicken
    16. The Younger Me
    17. Only One
    18. Dancing by Myself
    Love

    Love

    Failure is the least glamorous part of creativity—and the most essential. Everyone wants the breakthrough, the finished piece, the moment where something clicks. No one wants the drafts that don’t work, the ideas that fall flat, or the quiet realization that what you believed would succeed… didn’t.

    But creativity doesn’t grow despite failure. It grows because of it.

    Failure removes the illusion of control. When something doesn’t work, it exposes assumptions you didn’t know you were making. The story you thought was clear isn’t. The design you loved confuses people. The concept you defended turns out to be fragile. That moment stings—but it’s also where learning actually begins.

    Success reinforces habits. Failure questions them.

    Most creative breakthroughs aren’t acts of inspiration; they’re acts of correction. You try something. It breaks. You adjust. Over time, those adjustments compound into style, voice, and instinct. What people later call “talent” is often just a long paper trail of discarded attempts.

    Failure also forces specificity. Vague ideas can survive in your head forever. The moment you execute them—write the paragraph, publish the post, release the product—they meet reality. Reality is unforgiving, but it’s precise. It tells you exactly where the idea collapses. That feedback loop is creativity’s engine.

    There’s another uncomfortable truth: failure builds taste faster than success ever could.

    When something fails, you start noticing why. You sharpen your sense of what feels right, what feels lazy, what feels dishonest. Over time, you stop needing external validation because your internal compass improves. You don’t just know what works—you know what doesn’t, and that knowledge is just as valuable.

    Creativity without failure becomes imitation. Safe choices. Repeated formulas. It may look productive, but it rarely evolves. Failure disrupts that loop. It pushes you into unfamiliar territory, where you’re forced to invent instead of repeat.

    Of course, failure only shapes creativity if you let it. Avoiding it—by never finishing, never sharing, never risking embarrassment—keeps your work permanently theoretical. Polished in your head. Untested in the world. That’s not protection. That’s stagnation.

    The most creative people aren’t fearless. They’re just more willing to be wrong in public.

    They understand that every failed attempt strips away something unnecessary. Each miss clarifies intent. Each misstep narrows the distance between what they want to say and what actually lands.

    Failure isn’t proof you’re bad at creating. It’s proof you’re doing the work.

    So if your draft feels off, if your idea didn’t land, if the thing you believed in collapsed—good. That’s not a dead end. That’s the shaping phase. The part no one celebrates, but everyone who’s good has endured.

    Creativity isn’t born fully formed. It’s carved out—one failed attempt at a time.

    How to Stay Fly

    How to Stay Fly

    Failure is the least glamorous part of creativity—and the most essential. Everyone wants the breakthrough, the finished piece, the moment where something clicks. No one wants the drafts that don’t work, the ideas that fall flat, or the quiet realization that what you believed would succeed… didn’t.

    But creativity doesn’t grow despite failure. It grows because of it.

    Failure removes the illusion of control. When something doesn’t work, it exposes assumptions you didn’t know you were making. The story you thought was clear isn’t. The design you loved confuses people. The concept you defended turns out to be fragile. That moment stings—but it’s also where learning actually begins.

    Success reinforces habits. Failure questions them.

    Most creative breakthroughs aren’t acts of inspiration; they’re acts of correction. You try something. It breaks. You adjust. Over time, those adjustments compound into style, voice, and instinct. What people later call “talent” is often just a long paper trail of discarded attempts.

    Failure also forces specificity. Vague ideas can survive in your head forever. The moment you execute them—write the paragraph, publish the post, release the product—they meet reality. Reality is unforgiving, but it’s precise. It tells you exactly where the idea collapses. That feedback loop is creativity’s engine.

    There’s another uncomfortable truth: failure builds taste faster than success ever could.

    When something fails, you start noticing why. You sharpen your sense of what feels right, what feels lazy, what feels dishonest. Over time, you stop needing external validation because your internal compass improves. You don’t just know what works—you know what doesn’t, and that knowledge is just as valuable.

    Creativity without failure becomes imitation. Safe choices. Repeated formulas. It may look productive, but it rarely evolves. Failure disrupts that loop. It pushes you into unfamiliar territory, where you’re forced to invent instead of repeat.

    Of course, failure only shapes creativity if you let it. Avoiding it—by never finishing, never sharing, never risking embarrassment—keeps your work permanently theoretical. Polished in your head. Untested in the world. That’s not protection. That’s stagnation.

    The most creative people aren’t fearless. They’re just more willing to be wrong in public.

    They understand that every failed attempt strips away something unnecessary. Each miss clarifies intent. Each misstep narrows the distance between what they want to say and what actually lands.

    Failure isn’t proof you’re bad at creating. It’s proof you’re doing the work.

    So if your draft feels off, if your idea didn’t land, if the thing you believed in collapsed—good. That’s not a dead end. That’s the shaping phase. The part no one celebrates, but everyone who’s good has endured.

    Creativity isn’t born fully formed. It’s carved out—one failed attempt at a time.

    How Failure Shapes Creativity

    How Failure Shapes Creativity

    How Failure Shapes Creativity (Whether You Like It or Not)

    Failure is the least glamorous part of creativity—and the most essential. Everyone wants the breakthrough, the finished piece, the moment where something clicks. No one wants the drafts that don’t work, the ideas that fall flat, or the quiet realization that what you believed would succeed… didn’t.

    But creativity doesn’t grow despite failure. It grows because of it.

    Failure removes the illusion of control. When something doesn’t work, it exposes assumptions you didn’t know you were making. The story you thought was clear isn’t. The design you loved confuses people. The concept you defended turns out to be fragile. That moment stings—but it’s also where learning actually begins.

    Success reinforces habits. Failure questions them.

    Most creative breakthroughs aren’t acts of inspiration; they’re acts of correction. You try something. It breaks. You adjust. Over time, those adjustments compound into style, voice, and instinct. What people later call “talent” is often just a long paper trail of discarded attempts.

    Failure also forces specificity. Vague ideas can survive in your head forever. The moment you execute them—write the paragraph, publish the post, release the product—they meet reality. Reality is unforgiving, but it’s precise. It tells you exactly where the idea collapses. That feedback loop is creativity’s engine.

    There’s another uncomfortable truth: failure builds taste faster than success ever could.

    When something fails, you start noticing why. You sharpen your sense of what feels right, what feels lazy, what feels dishonest. Over time, you stop needing external validation because your internal compass improves. You don’t just know what works—you know what doesn’t, and that knowledge is just as valuable.

    Creativity without failure becomes imitation. Safe choices. Repeated formulas. It may look productive, but it rarely evolves. Failure disrupts that loop. It pushes you into unfamiliar territory, where you’re forced to invent instead of repeat.

    Of course, failure only shapes creativity if you let it. Avoiding it—by never finishing, never sharing, never risking embarrassment—keeps your work permanently theoretical. Polished in your head. Untested in the world. That’s not protection. That’s stagnation.

    The most creative people aren’t fearless. They’re just more willing to be wrong in public.

    They understand that every failed attempt strips away something unnecessary. Each miss clarifies intent. Each misstep narrows the distance between what they want to say and what actually lands.

    Failure isn’t proof you’re bad at creating. It’s proof you’re doing the work.

    So if your draft feels off, if your idea didn’t land, if the thing you believed in collapsed—good. That’s not a dead end. That’s the shaping phase. The part no one celebrates, but everyone who’s good has endured.

    Creativity isn’t born fully formed. It’s carved out—one failed attempt at a time.